Custody/Divorce Coach &
Coercive Control Consulting
(Litigation Discovery)
Don't pay attorney rates for data organization.
In high-conflict custody or coercive control cases, the evidence is the strategy. I help clients save thousands in legal fees by organizing raw data into structured, investigative patterns that attorneys can use immediately. Clinical. Evidence-focused. Efficient.
Stop the billable bleed.
The consulting part of my practice focuses on litigation discovery with coercive control & child abuse and neglect including relational, systems, and institutional coercive control and betrayal. You will receive assistance with legal discovery including investigative skills, evidence gathering, mapping perpetrator patterns, and documentation in your legal case. Consulting recognizes issues and problems, and directs and plans solutions.
In complex litigation, the largest drain on your retainer isn't the legal expertise—it’s the billable hours spent sorting through disorganized evidence. When you hand your legal team a "data dump," you are paying attorney or senior paralegal rates for them to find the narrative and the “smoking gun” within the mess.
Based on almost 25 years legal experience and coercive control expertise. You will receive assistance with legal discovery including investigative skills, evidence gathering, mapping perpetrator patterns, and documentation in your legal case. We dive deeper into coercive control perpetrated by systems and institutional betrayal awareness and responses. I will use proven results based methodologies, tools, and skills. You will receive wisdom and guidance through advising.
Consulting combo sessions also include therapeutic and/or somatic trauma coaching.
Every decision we make is shaped by a clear sense of purpose, protect you and your child(ren).
The Sublime Life Philosophy of Strategic Litigation Discovery
In high-conflict litigation, discovery is more than a procedural phase—it is the foundation of your narrative. However, the effectiveness of your evidence is often dictated by the environment in which it is presented. Success requires a dual-track strategy: Methodical Evidence Patterning and Systemic Risk Management.
1. The Power of Patterning
Investigation is the art of connecting the dots. When overseen by an ethical bench, objective evidence—observable, measurable, and verifiable facts (emails, financial records, medical records, etc, and metadata)—creates an undeniable pattern of conduct. We focus on:
Granular Documentation: Moving beyond "he-said, she-said" to verifiable data.
Behavioral Mapping: Identifying cycles of coercive control and/or child abuse and neglect through chronological evidence.
Strategic Disclosure: Ensuring evidence is presented in a way that limits the opposition's ability to "explain away" the facts.
2. Navigating the "DARVO" Defense
In many cases, the greatest threat isn't a lack of evidence, but the weaponization of the system itself. When an abuser utilizes DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender), discovery can be twisted to fit a false narrative.
Professional litigation and discovery consulting provides the tools to:
Anticipate the Twist: Prepare your evidence to be "defense-proof" by closing loopholes before they are exploited.
Counter Systemic Coercion: Identify and document when the legal process is being used as a tool for further abuse.
3. Intelligence & Environment
Winning isn't just about knowing your case; it’s about knowing the board. "The name of the game" is comprehensive intelligence. This includes:
Opposing Counsel Profiling: Understanding their tactics, history of ethical complaints, and common maneuvers.
Judicial Analysis: Researching past rulings, biases, and philosophical leanings to tailor how evidence is framed.
Witness Vetting: Uncovering the backgrounds and biases of "minions" or third-party professionals involved in the case.
The Core Directive: In an unpredictable system, your only constant is the integrity of your data and the depth of your preparation. We don't just find the truth; we protect it from being rewritten.
Benefits of Consulting
You will secure your and your child (ren)’s financial futue from destruction.
You will transform your documentation into a structured evidence framework, ensuring the emotional and physical safety of you and your child(ren) remains the central focus of your case.
We dive deeper into examples of coercive control & child abuse and neglect as well as other relational, systems, and institutional coercive control awareness, patterning, and evidence production.
You will gain sovereignty of yourself
You will gain a sense of self agency again
You will develop Resilience
You will develop Trust in Yourself
You will receive support and external resources
You will receive assistance with legal discovery including investigative skills, evidence gathering, mapping perpetrator patterns, and documentation in your legal case
We will recognize issues and problems, and direct and plan solutions.
You will receive with the combined sessions all the benefits of therapeutic and/or trauma coaching and consulting.
Many women and girls are not aware they are in coercively controlling relationships; how dangerous these abusers are, how to escape, or how to heal from the abuses. This in turn creates complex trauma and can affect their lives in negative ways and perpetuate problems in their lives and future generations if not recognized, dealt with, and processed.
With the combined sessions you will receive all the benefits of somatic trauma therapy and litigation discovery consulting.
Many women say violence wasn’t the worst part.
“Why the violence model doesn’t work: fewer than 5% of domestic violence assaults involve injury; only 1-2% involve serious injury; and an even smaller proportion lead to homicide. So, if you wait for homicide or serious injury or even injury before you intervene you miss 95% of domestic violence.” Evan Stark. PhD. MSW, Professor Emeritus, Rutgers University
Statistics and scientific evidence shows that the most dangerous abusers are covert. Intimate partner covert coercive controllers have the highest lethality rate as the first physical altercation is usually murder.
RESOURCES in the US
National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org 800-799-SAFE (7233) or Text “START” to 88788
RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline) https://www.rainn.org/
Child USA The Think Tank for Child Protection https://childusa.org/
Alienation Industry https://www.alienationindustry.com/
National Resource Center of Domestic Violence https://www.nrcdv.org
National Network to End Domestic Violence https://nnedv.org
Operation Safe Escape https://safeescape.org
Crisis Text Line: Text 741741
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
Safe Helpline, Sexual Assult: 1-877-995-5247
LGBTQ National Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929
RESOURCES outside the US
The Trauma and Mental Health Report resource page https://trauma.blog.yorku.ca/resources/
Victim Focus https://www.victimfocus.com/
Dr. Charlotte Proudman https://www.charlotteproudman.com/
Coercive Control Films
Alice, Darling. Dir. Mary Nighy. Lionsgate 2023
No Ordinary Love. Dir. Chyna Robinson. 2021
Coercive Control Books
Lundy Bancroft - Why Does He Do That
Evan Stark - Coercive Control: The Entrapment of Women in Personal Life
Evan Stark - Children of Corecive Control
Emma Katz - Coercive Control in Children’s and Mother’s Lives
Rachel Louise Snyder - No Visible Bruises
Jane Monckton Smith - In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How they End in Murder
K.L. Randis - Spilled Milk
Shannon Thomas - Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
Family Court Books
Keith Harmon Snow - The Worst Interest of the Child
Charlotte Proudman - He Said She Said: Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in the Family Court
David Mandel - Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers
Maralee McLean - Prosecuted but not Silenced (Based on a True Story)
Lundy Bancroft - In Custody: A Carrie Green Novel (and many more)
Lundy Bancroft - The Batterer as Parent 2- Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics
Kerry Hernandez - Termination Hope Based on a True Story
Amy Polacko and Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola - Framed: Women in the Family Court Underground Based on many True Stories
Other Books
Dr. Gabor Mate - The Myth of Normal
Angelina Jolie, Amnesty International - Know Your Rights (US Edition)
Investigative Journalists, Forensic Psychiatrists, Research Psychologists
Grant Wyeth - Investigative Journalist- His articles can be found on https://substack.com/
The articles I recommend reading first:
The Facilitating System of the Family Court
Domestic Violence_ A Hobbesian Dilemma
The Best Interests Of The Abuser
Dr. Bandy X. Lee - Her articles can be found on https://medium.com/
The articles I recommend reading first:
Beware Family Court Doublethink and Newspeak
The Hidden ‘Genocide’ of the Family Courts
Dr. Emma Katz - Her articles can be found on https://substack.com/
The articles I recommend reading first:
Explaining Coercive Control to People who Don't Quite Get It_ A Series 1, 2, & 3
Just in from Family Court_ Father NEGLECTED His Children Because He Coercively Controlled their Mother
Domestically Violent Men Describe the Benefits of Abusing Women and Children
Childrens Thoughts About Their Domestic Violence Perpetrating Fathers
Family Courts: Highlighting the Voices of Abused Mothers_ A Series 1 & 2
Why Domestic Violence and Abuse Victims and Survivors Deserve All Our Respect and Support
At A Glance Guide to Coercive Control
Biderman’s Chart of Coercion
I also have a list of healing books recommended as selfwork in session.
Stop drowning in evidence and start DIY-ing your strategy.
You don't need more "paperwork"—you need a Master Discovery Blueprint that transforms raw information into winning Methodical Evidence Patterning and Systemic Risk Management documentation.
The Problem: Fragmented Discovery
Most firms approach discovery as a series of reactive tasks. They wait for production, then react. They wait for depositions, then scramble. This "siloed" approach leads to missed connections, thousands in billable hours, delayed deadlines, and—worst of all—missed evidence and surprises at trial.
The Solution: The All-Encompassing Strategic Tool
Our strategic discovery framework isn't just a set of directions; it’s a centralized nervous system for your litigation. By starting with a comprehensive, evidence-patterning foundation, you move from "organizing" to "analyzing" immediately.